Nero (sore in the lungs) Saint Sebastian (sore all over).
Nero smoking a cheroot.
Saint Sebastian patron saint of acupuncture.
Saint Sebastian was a Christian martyr who was killed i n the 3rd century. He is commonly depicted in art and literature tied to a post and shot with arrows. But he didn’t die from the arrows. After he was discovered to be still alive Sebastian was beaten severely about the head and shoulders with a club wielded by a beadle who took it upon himself to complete the task without the knowledge of Sebastian’s good but fair-weather friend the Roman emperor Diocletian. Rendered unconscious he was smothered with a sling. Upon hearing the sad news, Diocletian is said to have wondered aloud, “What in name of Jove is a beadle?”
Before he died Sebastian ended up converting his nymphomaniacal sister-in-law Vaginoestra Maxima, a.k.a. Traquillina Nilata to Christianity. Sebastian prepared for her a pouch of medicinal roots called Spagnolo voltare tranquilinatum - or, by today’s definition a Spanish fly and thorazene cocktail. When ingested by Tranquillina she became extraordinarily horny but, failing to get laid, never quite gave a damn. Sebastian’s concoction, applied via a leaf to the skin, is the first known transdermal patch.
The remains asserted to be those of St. Sebastian are currently housed in Rome in a basilica that was built by Pope Damasus I in 367, on the site of the provisional tombs of Saints Peter, Paul and Mary, known throughout the Roman Empire as the Soffio, il drago magico Trio. Source: Leesopedia, Volume 19, “Sebastian Cabot and Other People Whose Names Begin with Ess.“
