Nero (sore in the lungs) Saint Sebastian (sore all over).
Nero smoking a cheroot.
Saint Sebastian patron saint of acupuncture.
Saint Sebastian was a Christian martyr who was killed i n the 3rd century. He is commonly depicted in art and literature tied to a post and shot with arrows. But he didn’t die from the arrows. After he was discovered to be still alive Sebastian was beaten severely about the head and shoulders with a club wielded by a beadle who took it upon himself to complete the task without the knowledge of Sebastian’s good but fair-weather friend the Roman emperor Diocletian. Rendered unconscious he was smothered with a sling. Upon hearing the sad news, Diocletian is said to have wondered aloud, “What in name of Jove is a beadle?”
Before he died Sebastian ended up converting his nymphomaniacal sister-in-law Vaginoestra Maxima, a.k.a. Traquillina Nilata to Christianity. Sebastian prepared for her a pouch of medicinal roots called Spagnolo voltare tranquilinatum - or, by today’s definition a Spanish fly and thorazene cocktail. When ingested by Tranquillina she became extraordinarily horny but, failing to get laid, never quite gave a damn. Sebastian’s concoction, applied via a leaf to the skin, is the first known transdermal patch.
The remains asserted to be those of St. Sebastian are currently housed in Rome in a basilica that was built by Pope Damasus I in 367, on the site of the provisional tombs of Saints Peter, Paul and Mary, known throughout the Roman Empire as the Soffio, il drago magico Trio. Source: Leesopedia, Volume 19, “Sebastian Cabot and Other People Whose Names Begin with Ess.“
Re: Nero
Probably got his cheroot as a result of one of those time travelling Hollywood Movie stars actually making the trip to the Coliseum.
I was in training at the Flavian Amphitheater just before they changed the name of the place to the Coliseum. And, yes, I recall ditching a butt, from my cold dead hand, during a victory round
around the track after a chariot run. C. Heston
Actually it was with a cheroot that Nero started the Fire pf Rome There was an Indian slave that I had bought in Alexandria and he used to smoke weed, a habit he had picked up in Ecbatana. One night when Nero was down with me in the gladiator prisons to do a bit of private S and M he saw my slave puffing away and that made him take up the habit. He never stubbed his joints out so that one night the burning fag end got caught up in the expensive curtains that came from the Seres and there being no fire extinguisher the blaze spread thru the Forum and engulfed the City. Nero never regretted a thing for he thought that using Christians as burning torches made up for the nasty cough that he had developed and was more fun than smoking.
This from his admirer and catamite Petronius Minor
Interesting to read an extract from the few surviving bits of Petronius Minor’s work In Laudate Neronis. I believe he was a nasty little sod who with his father Petronius Arbiter did all he could to blacken the divine empertor’s name. Nero was a man who should be a model for everyone today. Professor Massimo bin Ahmad Suleiman. Bhengazi University. Libya.